Week 5 - Revision Week

Re + Vision

Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing. -- Bernard Malamud

1) Student Viewpoints - What is Revision?

Take a view minutes to brainstorm at least 10 other words/short phrases that the word "revision" brings to mind. Some may be synonyms ("rewrite"), others may be techniques ("read out loud"), and a few may even be unique to your experience ("turn off my phone").

Extra steps: Famous Writers Explain the Value of Revision.

2) Broadening Perspectives
Class discussion about Revision. Based on these expert opinions, are there any new words/definitions we should add to the board? Any existing ones we should emphasize?


3) Revision Steps
Revision Questions

Revise in order to:

• add important information and/or more appropriate examples.
• enhance your examples with details and text-based support (quotes, for example).
• delete unnecessary information and/or less appropriate examples.
• revise sentences to make their meanings crystal-clear.
• revise sentences to improve their style.
• correct grammatical mistakes, typos and other errors.

(Checklist adapted from OWL/Purdue)

• Find your main point.

• Identify your readers and your purpose.

• Evaluate your evidence.

• Save only the good pieces.

• Tighten and clean up your language.

• Eliminate mistakes in grammar and usage.

• Switch from writer-centered to reader-centered.

4) Ready, Set, Revise!

Today, I'll be handing back your initial papers about your happiness philosophy. Take a moment to reread them with fresh eyes.

Homework (due week 5 day 2): a 300-word "re + vision report" outlining your

• analysis of the essays strengths and weaknesses

• detailed plan to revise the paper. Consider your thesis presentation, organization, choice of examples, use of quoted materials. You can identify and mention specific grammar or syntactical changes you might make (ex. "I will write fewer fragments"), but this should not make up the bulk of your plan.

Students are welcome to work on this project in teams or with tutors - of course, I recommend visiting the Writing Center.

Dr. McCormick’s Voluntary Paper Revision Guidelines

Any student may re-write a passing essay in hopes of raising their grade. I recommend consulting with me during office hours and/or with a tutor in the Writing Center.

To be resubmitted, revised papers must:

1. demonstrate substantial change. Papers where teacher’s corrections are merely transcribed – or those that offer only minimal edits – will not receive higher grades.
2. be attached to the corrected original copy with teacher’s marks.
3. be turned in to professor within two weeks of the date it was returned to the student or by the final day of class (whichever is earlier).
4. include an additional 250-or-more word typed description of the changes made and the rationale for these edits. If they failed to incorporate any of the teacher’s suggestions into the revision, students should address the reason(s) they chose not to do so.
5. exclude no more than 2 of the corrections on the original for grammar, syntax, spelling, etc.

There are no exceptions to these conditions

HW Help: A great resource for college essay revision can be found here.

Grammar Help.
Comma Splices?  Fragment?

Week 4, day 2

Let's start at the end!

Conclusions

and Works Cited

Happiner by Ben-Shahar
Harvard Guide to Happiness
Does Education Make You Happy?


Then Peer Review!  We will start simply

Week 4, Day 1

Today we'll review paragraph structure and discuss using support in your paragraphs.

1) First, we'll talk about the different ways to use texts to support your ideas, including paraphrases and quoting.
Here's a great handout!

2) Then we'll look at some excellent techniques for quotation
(yes, we'll talk about sandwiches)

 

3) Then review the MLA style for in-text citation; and briefly glance at this sample MLA paper.

4) Finally, discuss any issues that have come up for you.

HW - Create the final draft of at least 700 words - have the paper in "teacher" ready format.  You can, however, wait on the conclusion and Works Cited Page - we'll be talking about those Thursday.

Week 3, Day 2

Today we will review our intros and thesis statements ... and then discuss writing body paragraphs~~~~ hw. First draft of paper ... at least 400-500 words with at least 3 body paragraphs. Identify quotes to use in paper and bring all sources to class This way we can work on using sources in class

Extra support:

• A simple handout
• a worksheet/formula...you could use this "system" to write one of your body paragraphs.
• Great article on General to specific format here

and the contact list is ready to go!

Week 3, Day 1 - Happiness in Education

1 - Watching (and taking notes on) video


2 - Checking annotations (during video)
3 - The Writing Process
4 - The assignment for paper 2

"Discuss ways in which the education system (administrators, teachers, parents and/or students) can cultivate a happier approach to learning while at the same time maintaining - or even increasing - students' academic performance."

This will be a paper of at least 750 words written in MLA style.  Double-spaced and typed. Be sure to quote from at least 2 of the text(s) used for this class. The paper should be written in "3rd person" style and focus on general ideas and hypothetical situations, rather than tell a "personal" or 1st person story.

hw. Create a thesis, introductory paragraph and outline for your next paper.  Write the intro paragraph. Essay Basics Intro Paragraph

Week 2, Day 2

Today we discussed strategies for reading.  Here are some resources

1) Annoating While Reading

2) Reading to Write

HW; Fully annotated articles.

Week 2 - Day One (Sept 9/10 depending on your group)

Papers are due today .  Be sure to print them out!  Should you need a printer, you can use the Writing Center or Library.  Just be sure to bring your ID.

Today we'll finish

1)  viewing the Dan Gilbert Video (if applicable)
2) Share our first papers/ideas with a peer group
3) Talk about school and happiness

HW: 1) Free Writing about Happiness in School.  2) Download and print these articles for the next few classes.

Day One

Welcome to the Class.

 Register your info at this link.
Take Happiness Inventory


Dan Gilbert Video